The house was like a pinball
machine, people bouncing back and forth from room to room busily attending to
their assigned task. We were getting
dressed and ready for my eighth grade graduation. Mama and Dominica had just arrived from
attending the state track meet, while I relaxed at home. Actually, relaxed is probably the wrong word
to use. I was extremely nervous and
anxious.
I have
never been very good about being the center of attention. I hate walking into a crowded building, let
alone walking up on stage in the middle of that crowded building, but that was
what was expected of me. My mom had
discussed with me, and had written on paper what I needed to do from the time I
walked in the gym throughout the rest of the evening. This is the first time my mom had written
instructions for me on a piece of paper and this proved to be very helpful. Throughout the ceremony I visualized that
list of instructions and was able to follow them. I managed to make my body do what I wanted.
This feat
was not taken lightly. I have a hard
time making my body act in a socially acceptable manner most of the time. I am sure it is because I am nervous and over
stimulated, but this lack of control has caused many problems for me in the
past. I know my mom was concerned about
me not only not going to the stage to receive my diploma, but running around
the gym as well.
She
wasn’t the only one concerned. I was
petrified. And as I moved around the
house getting ready that night, I wanted to just stay home. I remember thinking how disappointed my
parents would be if I didn’t perform well and that kept me going. I wasn’t made to wear uncomfortable clothing,
which helped immensely. And only the shirt
was new and that felt comfortable as well.
So after getting dressed and taking a few pictures we were off.
My
mother got my mp3 player and headphones out and we walked in the gym. With the headphones on I felt safe and less
anxious. I did not have to take the
group picture or even walk in with the class, so I sat and waited for the
ceremony to begin. The song the class
entered in with was loud, but a good choice, and I liked it. The whole class looked poised and mature and
I was feeling quite mature myself.
Things were
going nicely, and then my mother got up for her speech. I know she was concerned about what I would
do when she left my side, but I felt fine and relaxed. This may have been because, Karen Dent, my OT
was there also, or I was just so determined to do well for my parents. So thirty minutes later I had not moved and had
enjoyed listening to my mom’s speech.
Now the
big moment arrived and again my mom said that I didn’t have to go up the stairs
for my diploma. However, when Mrs.
Murphy said Antonio Edward Adams Prokup, I walked calmly up the stairs, grabbed
the diploma and stood for a photograph.
I had done it and I was so proud of myself. I walked back down and saw the pride in my
mom and dad’s eyes. I knew that all the
anxiousness and worry and preparation had paid off.
This event
has stayed with me as one of my greatest triumphs because it was so very hard
for me and yet I was able to overcome and succeed. I remember the wonderful feeling I had inside
because for a little while I wasn’t any different than anyone else. I will always remember how thankful I was to
my mom for preparing me, and to Karen for attending and supporting me. I am a very lucky person indeed.
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