The night before was full of anxiousness. We, my mom and I, slept very little worrying about it. So needless to say we were somewhat scared of what could happen. We both knew I could have a miserable time and then what would we do? So up at 3:00 and ready to go. My mom packed everything she could possibly think of to help me through the trip; clothes, food, bottle caps, iPod, iPad, and lite writer. And off we go.
While in the truck mama kept saying " trust me and trust God, and everything would be fine!". That line helped me so much and I kept replaying that in my mind all day.
When we got to Quincy, I put the iPod on and walked to the depot to wait. When I heard the train whistle, I was both excited and petrified. What if something went wrong while miles away in Chicago; how could I escape? So I hesitated and backed away. Mama and Dr. L. pushed me a little, and all of a sudden my fear was gone. I can't explain what happened. It was as if someone reached in my body, pulled out the fear and threw it away.
I have always loved trains, so the ride was fantastic! I loved looking out the window at the towns flying by and miles and miles of crop land lying there waiting to be seeded.
Four hours later we arrive at Union Station in Chicago. With the iPod earplugs in my ears, my hooded jacket on and a blanket draped around my shoulders and my mom's arms around me I make it through the station. Then out into the street. Oh my gosh! The sounds and the business was overpowering! But my mom came through again. She never stopped talking about what we were hearing or seeing. Her voice was very calming to me. She also had Dr. L. walk in front of us, and I felt safe following him.
When we arrived at the museum, I felt so much relief! I could relax my body. The sounds were much better to manage still listening to my iPod. We traveled with Dr. L. and Aunt Brie's group which was wonderful; they were always looking out for me as well as K.. She was so kind to me.
While sitting in the museum, I was in awe of the beautiful art work. My mom and I would find a bench to sit on and then just look and let it soak in! I wish I could draw, paint, or sculpt like those artists. I sat and wondered about their state of mind when creating such beauty. My favorite was the American art before 1900. I felt I could see the beauty and appreciate it as well.
After lunch and more museum wandering, our group decided to take a walk to lake Michigan. This hour was the worst of the day. Not because it was not amazing to see, but because I had been pushing myself all day not to make noises, run, or even worse, lose control, and now I was to cross two very busy streets. I was scared! I was not sure I could do it, but mama thought I needed to see the lake. Had she asked me, I would have said no, but she did not, and so we went. I don't think I can explain what it feels like to walk calmly in amongst all the horrific noises of the city. I am always amazed that other people are not bothered and walk forward, not only confidently but laughing and talking. I walked, but definitely not confidently. However I know my mom didn't know how hard it was, or she would have never asked me to go. Am I glad now? Yes! I am so grateful to her and proud of me!
On down the unbelievably crowded street to the train station. When we got there, all I wanted to do was get to the quietness of the train and sit in the chair in safety knowing it was taking me home. However, we had to souvenir shop and go to the information desk to check in. This was only the second time I had to be pushed, this time with help from Aunt Brie.
Finally I see the train! How beautiful it looked! Like it was Thomas from my childhood days watching movies in my bedroom. Thomas was going to take me home!! I climbed in and sat down, and one hour later I took the earphones out! I had listened to the same song all day long! I just saw my mom's face when I typed that. She did not know. She thought I listened to several songs. Well, I don't! I guess the familiarity of just one song is calming and relaxing and a little hypnotizing to me! I had made it!
When we reached Quincy, my heart was bursting with joy and yet sadness! Why you ask would I be sad? I was sad because so many children with my disability would have been left home. Home --- where it is safe and less trouble for everyone. I was given the opportunity and I succeeded telling my family that they may bring it on! I'm ready for many more experiences! Together we can conquer the unknown!
Since I have been home, I feel differently --- A little older, a little wiser and definitely a little less trapped! A wonderful thing happened to me because I trusted in my mom and trusted in God!!!
I am so very proud of you for taking this giant step into the outside world. You made a tremendous accomplishment on this trip, not to mention having the opportunity to see all of the great artwork on display in Chicago. Keep writing because I have always loved to read all of your work.
ReplyDelete